Expecting....the unexpected!!

It is official....our baby is on the way! I am officially 13 weeks and 2 days today- over a third of the way there! So much has been going on, hence the neglecting of my blog! We bought a beautiful new house and have a baby on the way. Luckily grad school is over for the semester so maybe I can find some time during Christmas break to catch up on stuff. That is if I have the energy.

Standing Up

I came across this quote today and it really made me think about some events that have recently occurred in my life. My sister teases that I got mean after I got married. I wasn't nearly as confrontational  as I am now and I really do not consider myself confrontational to this day. However, I have to say I have been burned so many times and I use to let people slide. I grew up watching my parents do the very same thing. They would give their shirts off their backs and not get so much as a thank you from some people. Maybe it does have a lot do with me getting married and learning what a true relationship is. Having someone by your side 24/7 that you know isn't going to screw you or be a jerk is a great feeling. I have found a lot of appreciation in our relationship that has made me grow as an individual. Standing up for yourself and not allowing people to walk all over you or mistreat you is something that you owe to yourself. People will continue to do this if you allow them. I do not like confrontations, nor do I like causing issues with relationships I have with people, especially people I love, but at the end of the day I owe it to myself to speak up when someone is treating me unfairly. I'm not sure how I'll ever get through things with out my mother's voice of reason. Before making decisions and saying something I often call her and talk it over with her first. She has taught me so much and I wouldn't be the woman I am today without her or my dad. I hope to pass these great values onto my children that my parents have taught me. At the end of the day it is important to make sure you stood up for yourself and your beliefs. And do not forget to be classy - Coco would be proud.

Believe

I have so much to be thankful for in my life and I count my blessing every day. This year has been a huge struggle for Johnny and I and I'm ready for 2012 and I hope it is better. We have been through so much together and I'm very lucky to have him by my side. Johnny and I are pretty conservative when it comes to making big decisions and we usually spend a lot of time talking and thinking about things. Recently, we've been on a much different track. We made a huge decision and we're hoping that the risk will pay off. It's very scary for us, but we're excited at the same time. I ask that you continue to remember Johnny and I in your prayers because we really need them right now.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and that things will work out the way they should. I'm just hoping that God's plan and my plan align for once. I know God will do what is best for me and whatever happens is His will. I just hope he's hearing my prayers and continues to guide me in the direction he desires.

I have been put in some rather serious scenarios this year and I made some huge decisions in regards to each other them. I have had people that I loved do me more wrong than I could ever imagine and I've had to reconsider their position in my life. This year has shown me who is honestly there for me and who isn't. I find it senseless to keep dead weight around. Hang on to those that help, and let go of those who hurt.

I pray that I've made the right decisions and that I'm heading in the path that is most right for me and my life.

The Grass is Greener Where You Water It

I feel like a broken record when I say this year has been a roller coaster. Luckily, I can report that we are currently at the top! I finally have a job, it's not much, but it is much better than nothing and I get paid during the summer! I feel like my life has been evolving every day. I have a new outlook on my life and those that are in it. I've worked my butt off to get where I am today and I'm only looking for others that are good for me to keep around. I've had some people do me wrong this year and some come through for me when I least expected it. I'm so thankful for the people in my life that have been so great to me.

I've been blessed with an amazing family and was blessed again by marrying into a great family. Johnny's family has become way more than just family, they are my friends. I'll stay married to him just to keep them :o) ! I'm excited that he'll get to meet some of my great aunts and uncle this weekend. I know I look like my mother, but it's also nice to hear that I look like my grandmother, Geneva, that I never had to the chance to meet in person.

Today some students I had last year brought me a cupcake. They are twins and today is their birthday. I love seeing my kids from last year. After school their teacher told me that they asked if they could find me and give me a cupcake....it just made my day. I absolutely love what I do. I know I picked the right profession, unfortunately I just don't have my own classroom yet. God's plan is far better than mine though.

I titled this blog "The grass is greener where you water it" because it has so much meaning to me. If you put work and effort into something, you're going to get the desired results. This has to do with my marriage, my relationship with God, my job and school, with my family and with friendships. If people aren't willing to make it work, then it's not going to and I'm not responsible for your lack of effort.

From our party celebrating me getting a job!

Enjoy Life

"The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead." 

I found this quote today and knew it described my current situation perfectly. I know that life is short and that we must see every blessing that we have and thank God for every one of them. I've been so unnerved by these "waiting" games that I keep getting drug into lately. I feel like the hardest one was when we had to wait 17 days to see if our baby had a heart beat or not and knowing that there was a good chance it wasn't going to. I sat in agony for 17 days and the days that followed were not easier. I'm trying to stop worrying so much about the direction that my life is going in and just enjoy the ride. I know that God will guide me and if I listen He will tell me exactly what I need to do. I've made some decisions to just jump right in and start living. Whatever happens, happens. Johnny and I have survived some incredible events and I'm pretty sure we can handle just about anything.

The first thing on my agenda is now grad school! I couldn't believe when I was accepted to graduate school because I couldn't believe that I had actually applied. I'm excited about my possibilities and the new adventures that I am about embark on. I may not finish any time soon, but it will give me some things to do while the school boards get their heads on right! I ask that you pray for me as I begin this new chapter. It's a big step and taking more classes that I was told to take should make things interesting. I am thrilled and very grateful for everyone's support.

Learning to go with the flow!

For all of those that know me dearly know that I am a planner. I actually get excited around July of every year because I know that I get a new planner and I get to write all my dates inside. I live by my planner and my calendar. I get irritated when things don't go just the way I plan them, just ask Johnny! However it seems this year that things have been out of control and I'm learning to go with the flow. I was thinking on my way home this afternoon how much stuff needs to get accomplished and how many things need to get done at a certain time and how I wish that a few dates would hurry up and get here! I'm trying to remember that good things come to those who wait, but it is much easier said than done. I know that God has a plan for me and I have faith that he will see me through all this madness that I feel like is going on around me. Just say a prayer for Johnny and I because I feel like we've had an uphill battle for a while now and say a prayer that I continue to learn to go with the flow.

Mrs. Tent's first day of Kindergarten!

I can officially say that I survived my first day of Kindergarten! When I woke up at 4am this morning to rain, thunder, and lightening I was sure I was doomed today, but all was good! To my surprise I had a little girl even call me "Mrs. Tent" and it was hilarious! Her mother is actually a friend of mine and discussed her confusion before school! It was absolutely precious. I'm relieved that I no longer go by my maiden name because I'm not sure how she would have dealt with that. I was very happy that we didn't have any tears today.

I am very blessed for having this opportunity and for my principals and Wendy and Linda letting me apart of their classroom. I think every teacher should experience the first day of Kindergarten at some point. I had been in first grade on the very first day, but as most know kindergarten and first grade are worlds apart! I worked my butt off, but the kids at this age are just the cutest little things!

Putting the kids on the bus this afternoon was one of the scariest things I have ever done. This fear probably comes from being put on the wrong bus at their age. I made sure I took my time and with the help of my co workers everything went very smoothly. I have to say I absolutely love Bright Star Elementary and that it is a fabulous school! Right now I'm just wondering if I can go to bed! I'm exhausted, but I've learned so much today!

20 days since surgery!

I was unaware but pregnancy can serious screw up your gallbladder! I wanted to post some pictures that may gross some people out, but this blog is something that my child may one day look back on. I never want to hear anything about not being wanted, liked, or loved because Johnny and I have went through A LOT in hopes having a family one day! I have to thank everyone for their calls, concerns, and prayers. We couldn't have made it through all this without your support. So thank you!

This is my gallbladder, courtesy of Katie Walker! My doctor thought this was funny!

This is my gallbladder scar, 20 days after surgery! I used the paper clip to show how small it is! It's crazy!

This is my crazy fire ant scar! That's right, I got bit by a fire ant in middle school. It is never healed properly and irritated the blood vessel! So you can tell that it is a lot easier to take a out a gallbladder than an ant bit!

The very best part about surgery! Edible arrangements! Johnny doesn't like fruit so I get these all to myself! Perfect!

The Woman With You

First, if you don't know the song "The Woman With You" by Kenny Chesney, I'm not sure you'll understand my blog. Plus, it's a fabulous song, so you owe it to yourself to listen to it!

Johnny came into my life from no where. He literally just popped up one day. I had known him for a long time, but we really never talked. We just knew each other. I really thought we didn't have a chance in the world. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend and the thought of getting engaged and married was no where in my mind. What can I say? He swept me off my feet before I ever knew what happened.

We got engaged on November 8, 2008 in Chattanooga, TN on a wonderful day trip! It was perfect. His corny "Do you love me? Do you love me enough to marry me?" Obviously I said yes! I set the date for 13 months later on December 12, 2009. This gave me time to run if I needed to! (Just kidding)

I feel like we have been through so much since our I do's. We tried to start a family and ended up losing a baby. God has a plan for us and we have found comfort in that. We'll try again later down the road. 

Shortly after losing the baby we discovered that my gallbladder needed to be removed. I remember sitting in the ER late into the night and the doctor coming in and telling us. Johnny looked like a wet kitten. Luckily, I had an amazing doctor that did a fabulous job. I also had a horrific fire ant bite removed from my leg, which is going to leave a way worse scar than the gallbladder.

Most of this information was revealed in my previous blog. However, I feel like he deserves more credit than I can ever give him. He has taken such good care of me. I cannot imagine going through the things that I have went through with out him. I just do not think for one second that I could have done it. If I had to do half of the stuff I've done with out him I do not think I would have survived. I often look at other married couples that are not as lucky as we are. Johnny and I have talked many times about how important it is to have "us time". Even when the kid(s) come(s). I can't imagine my life with out him, because my life simply wouldn't exist with out him.

We joke that Johnny needs a boy, but I guess I need a boy, too. It's going to be really hard for me to ever think a boy is as good as her father. Plus, I can only imagine how intimidating Johnny would be to a teenage boy trying to date his daughter. I don't wish that on anyone.

In Chattanooga, TN on the day we got engaged! 11/8/08

Our Roller Coaster Ride

It seems like so much has happened since I started my blog in January! I have been so busy that I have had no time to blog or to figure out how to change everything to the exact way I want it. Luckily, summer is finally here and I am finding some time to get things done.

We learned at the beginning of this year that my sister had thyroid cancer. It has been a very hard and stressful time on our family. She had surgery to remove her thyroid and had an iodine treatment that we pray handled everything. Only time will tell and we're counting down days until October so that we can see if it was successful. She's a fighter and I have no doubts. 

I was able to start another long term sub job at Bright Star Elementary. I absolutely LOVE BSES! Everyone was so sweet and I hope that one day I could call it home. For now I am just taking advantage of all the jobs that are available there because of all the pregnancies! I already have jobs lined up until January 2012! I have been so blessed and I am so thankful for everything.

During Spring Break in April we learned that we were expecting. We were enthused! Unfortunately, my hormone levels never were where they were suppose to be and we never developed a heart beat. We went from the top of the world to the lowest point that I think either of us had ever been. I cannot express how much we loved that little embryo, but God had other things in mind. I had surgery in May and we've been taking it day by day and we will eventually try again.

Recently I started having these "attacks". It was some of the worst pain I have ever been in and I had crazy symptoms. Johnny made me go to the hospital on my second "attack" where we learned that I have gallstones and now my gallbladder has to come out. I am excited because I will not have to deal with these attacks ever again, but the side effects of not having a gallbladder do not seem so great. While I am having surgery, the doctor is also going to remove a little growth on my leg that I have had for several years that he thinks is from a fire ant bite. However, it will be sent off to see if it is cancerous. I figured since this was all going on, I might as well have a wisdom tooth taken out two days before my surgery. 

As you can see we have been on a crazy roller coaster that we cannot seem to get off of. I know that God has a plan for us and that he will see us through all this. We are just ready to get this all behind us and hopefully start on our family soon. For now we just rely on our amazing family and friends to get us by!

New Year, New Us!

We are very excited for 2011 and all that it may bring for us. 2010 was a good year, but it had its share of crazy ups and downs! This is the first year in a long time that my college schedule is not dictating my life and I have to admit it is making me a little nervous. However, I am officially a certified teacher with little hope of having a job. For now I am enjoying my long term position in second grade and thanking God and Lisa for this opportunity.